http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51KSYAftDEA&feature=watch_response
In high school, I was a big fan of Bill Engvall. Time has passed and my tastes have changed, but one point he made stays with me.
Roller-skate Barbie was on the market. She had this entertaining feature with which one could push her along on her skates and sparks would shoot out.
Now I have never seen any documentation of this particular investigation, so for all I know, it never actually happened, but Bill poked a lot of fun at this character who went on television and said, “This doll looks safe enough, doesn’t it? But what if Barbie skated through a pool of gasoline?”
Bill pointed out how it makes just as much sense to ask, “What if Barbie had a hand grenade?” I will add that it makes just as much sense to ask, “What if Barbie came to life and started chasing your family with a knife?”
Can it be proven impossible that someone will, at some point, skate Barbie through a pool of gasoline? Can it be proven impossible that Barbie will make use of explosives? Can it be proven impossible that Barbie might go Chucky on you? Well, to be completely honest, in the philosophical sense, no.
Maybe if you lean against the wall at just the right moment, you’ll pass through it. Maybe if you think just the right thought at just the right time, you will gain spontaneous mental control over the Universe. That which cannot be proven impossible is possible. But since there are infinite such possibilities, is it practical to fixate on every single one of them? Of course not.
The only realm in which anything can be proven either definite or impossible beyond any shadow of any kind of doubt whatsoever is mathematics. Otherwise, we must be content with beyond any shadow of a reasonable doubt.
What’s the word for it when someone picks out one little possibility with no evidence establishing its likelihood as any better than infinitesimal and fixates on it? Absurd. What’s this action called when the infinitesimal possibility evokes an emotional response? An emotional appeal. What’s this action called when the emotion it appeals to is fear? A scare-tactic. That’s what this fallacy is called.
Isn’t it possible, if you live in an apartment, that one of your neighbors is plotting to run a roller-skate Barbie through a pool of gasoline in his or her apartment and burn the building down? I suppose. Shall we cast aside everyone’s privacy rights and search all the apartments on the basis of this possibility? (just in case)
Doesn’t the possibility exist that members of the Al-Qaida network are infiltrating this country and using mobile phones to coordinate attacks? Again, I suppose, but what do you propose? That Uncle Sam listen in on everyone’s private phone conversations including yours? Maybe you are suggesting that all the wireless phone networks in this country be shut down, just in case.
Doesn’t the possibility exist that Joe Shmoe is guilty of murder even though there is no evidence of it? Maybe you are guilty of murder in spite of the fact that there is no evidence of it. Or maybe, at some point, you and Joe will commit murder. Maybe we should lock the two of you up, just in case.
“This week’s meeting of the Tuscaloosa
Look at the movie X-Men. Many of my subscribers of course will note and have noted all manner of technical problems with its portrayal of the evolutionary process. But setting those aside for the moment, look at the disagreement in the beginning between Dr. Jean Grey and Senator Kelley. Kelley describes a mutant with the ability to walk through walls and points out the possibility of this mutant disregarding the privacy of others. He asks, “Now what’s to stop her from walking through the walls of the Pentagon or the White House, or any of their houses?” What’s the subtext of this argument?
“The possibility exists and it’s a scary possibility, so help me do something about it.” Apparently, the only reason the average person doesn’t spy on other people is out of an inability to walk through walls. Apparently, a simple respect for other people’s privacy is never enough.
It’s an emotional appeal when someone asks you to make an important decision on the basis of emotion instead of reason, and a scare-tactic when the emotion to which they are appealing is fear. Is emotion important? Of course. But it’s a problem when it gets in the way of reason.
Maybe if you think just the right thought while you press your navel, you’ll turn invisible. Wouldn’t that be a cool ability to have? Of course it would be, so I recommend that you all spend hours thinking random thoughts and pressing your navel in the hope that you just happen to stumble on the right combination.
When I was fifteen, I was really big on Star Trek. I still am, but not like I was then. One of the manifestations of my interest was a scattered array of glow-in-the-dark star stickers on my ceiling.
My mother is mentally ill. That year, she started having episodes. Often during these episodes, she would come sit in my room and talk to me, and often during these talks, she would get up to remove several of those stickers.
Of course, I didn’t want her to do that. I had put those stars where they were for a reason. But I was powerless to stop her and clueless how to respond when she asked, “What if these are making you weak?”
I once heard a recording of a prank played on a highly orthodox Jewish couple by a radio station with the assistance of their daughter who had just begun her first semester of college. A deejay from the station called the parents looking for her, pretending to be her new Catholic boyfriend.
A few days later, she called them herself with the station listening in and her mother confronted her about the new young man in her life. She argued, “He’s not kosher. He could be a rapist or a murderer.” Apparently, it’s guilty until proven innocent. Apparently, there’s something about being kosher which prevents one from being a violent criminal. I guess that means that Israel
Maybe your daughter’s new paramour is a dangerous criminal, so maybe she should stay away from him. (just in case) Maybe these glow-in-the-dark stickers are having an adverse affect on your health, so maybe you should get rid of them. (just in case)
Maybe the proper timing of thinking the right thought at the right time and pressing your navel will enable you to turn invisible, so maybe you should keep trying to find just the right timing. (just in case)
Maybe leaving the citizenry to their communications privacy will enable Al-Qaida to coordinate attacks undetected, so maybe Uncle Sam should disregard that privacy. (just in case)
Maybe granting women the right to vote will corrupt them, so maybe we should deny them that right. (just in case) Maybe taking steps to improve the social situation of women will worsen the situation of men. (That would be terrible!)
Maybe selling roller-skate Barbie will lead to someone running her through a pool of gasoline. (That would be terrible!)
Maybe extending more justice to members of other ethnic or religious groups will lead to an erosion of justice for our own. (That would be terrible!)
Maybe your neighbors are planning to kill you, so maybe you should kill them first. (just in case)
Desegregation? Sure. Sounds like a great idea. Except, well, what if it’s a secret plot by minorities to take over? (That would be terrible!)
Woman’s suffrage? Sure. Sounds like a great idea. Except, well, what if it’s a secret plot by women to take over? (That would be terrible!)
Same-sex marriage? Sure. Except, well, what if it’s part of a secret homosexual plot to take over the world and color-coordinate it? (That would be terrible... I suppose)
Do you see how this one works?
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