Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Societal Attitudes toward Marriage and Divorce


Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO2FUpVEApE


     Jay Leno once joked that, if conservatives want to punish people for being gay, the best way to do it, surely, is by letting them get married, since after all, same-sex marriage is bound to become the number one cause of same-sex divorce, and then they'll be sorry.
     I once had a co-worker who joked that, the next time he thought about getting married, he would save time by just finding some woman who hated his guts and buying her a house.
     I once heard the joke that, after a few years of marriage, the only type of sex the couple is having is hallway sex, which basically just entails the husband and wife walking past one another in the hallway and saying, "Fuck you!" And of course, after that, comes courtroom sex, where the wife and her attorney screw the husband for all he's worth.
     I, myself, have observed the very curious similarity between the Spanish word "casado," which means "married" and the word "cansado," which means "tired." I once asked a Mexican lady about that and she said they were the same thing. She was joking, but I wonder.
     Once, thumbing through a dictionary, I came across the word "fiancĂ©," with one "e" (masculine), then "fiancĂ©e," with two "e"'s (feminine), and then the word "fiasco," in that order. I wonder.
     In my more credulous days, I caught an episode of Dr. Phil in which he rattled off a few marriage statistics. I don't know how accurate these are, so I recommend taking them with a grain of salt, but he said that 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages, and 70% of third.
     Even at this more credulous point in my life, it occurred to me just how misleading this use of these figures might be, even assuming they are accurate. It looks as if it's saying, "If you can't make it work the first time, it's only going to get more difficult. You will be cursed."
     But consider this for a moment. Let us assume a random sampling of 1000 people destined for marriage. Let's also assume monogamous marriage to people outside the sample. If 50% of first marriages end in divorce, and all 1000 of these people get married, that means that about 500 are eventually bound to get divorced.
     Now let's assume that all the people in this sample are determined to keep trying until they get it to work. This means that all 500 are going to get married again. If 60% of second marriages end in divorce, that makes it sound like 60% of the original 1000, which is 600, when in fact, it's 60% of the 500 who got divorced from their first marriages, which is only 300.
     So what if those 300 then go on to get married again? Well, 70% of 300 is 210. If 70% of third marriages end in divorce, that's only 210 of the original 1000 people. That's barely a fifth who have not managed to make it work by the third attempt.
     So if 50% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 70% of third marriages end in divorce, that means that 50% of the people have made it work on the first attempt, 70% by the second, and almost 80% by the third, if we assume that 100% of those who make the first attempt are determined to keep trying until they succeed. Of course, in real life, it's bound to be a little less than that.
     But even so, so what? Dr. Phil, like much of the programming in the US is predicated upon the completely unwarranted assumption that divorce is necessarily some sort of failure. Such is about as absurd as a notion can get.
     First of all, most marriages that end don't end in this huge, stereotypical, Hollywood style, hyper-drama. That's a stigma. Most marriages that end end with both people genuinely regretful that it just didn't work out. That does not necessarily mean that there's someone to blame for it, and there's no particular reason why two people have to become the most vitriolic of enemies after getting a divorce. Sometimes, two people just grow apart. Sometimes, two people just realize they are not in love anymore. Sometimes two people just realize that they got along better before they tied the knot. Sometimes, with the ever-increasing life expectancy, "until death do us part" is too long to wait. How much sense does it make to insist on making two people prisoners of one another, resentful of one another, perhaps even enemies of one another, when they would be able to get along if they were to split?
     The fact is that people are human beings, and as such, we sometimes make mistakes. I have encountered the obsevation that this is the reason there are rubber mats around spitoons. People make mistakes, and sometimes, one of those mistakes is getting married. Maybe the mistake was the person one chose to marry. Maybe it was the act of taking oneself for the marrying type. Maybe it was just one's assessment of the circumstances at the time. Maybe the mistake was assuming that just because you and another person have a tendency to get along, that you should marry each other. But given the fact that people can make mistakes, what could be more absurd than to regard the admission of it as some sort of failure?
     That is what you are doing, after all, when you get a divorce; admitting that you made a mistake; that you are human. If getting married was, indeed, a mistake, it was a mistake whether you admit it or not, so by refusing to admit it, you're only causing yourself, your spouse, and any children you may have undue distress.

Star Trek, the Transgendered, and Pronoun Trouble

Video:

        As most of my subscribers are, no doubt, aware, I am a Star Trek fan. One of Star Trek’s most popular authors is Peter David. Let me emphasize, these are authors I’m talking about, not screenwriters. One finds their work in print, not on the screen.
        In Star Trek: The Next Generation, two of the main characters are Commander Riker and Counselor Troi, who apparently had a romance before TNG’s pilot episode. In one of the novels for which Peter David is famous, called Imzadi, he delves into this tumultuous romance.
        Now just to explain, Counselor Troi is half Betazoid, meaning that her home planet is Betazed, and "Imzadi," is a Betazoid word which doesn’t translate precisely. Apparently, "Imzadi" is a sort of pet name one applies to the first person with whom one reached a certain level of intimacy that entails a telepathic component; the first person with whom this level of intimacy was both physical and mental.
It has to do with Riker being assigned to Betazed as a lieutenant where one of his first official duties entails attending a Betazoid wedding.
        I have a number of subscribers whom, I know, are fans enough themselves to begin deriving a little amusement at the idea already. You see, at Betazoid weddings, it’s the custom for the bride, the groom, and all the assembled company to be nude.
        Apparently, Riker doesn’t know about this in advance, and so is caught a little off guard when, suddenly, everyone around him starts stripping down, but not one for modesty, and not shy, as soon as this custom is explained to him he decides to join in. He steps out of the room long enough to find a place to store his uniform, then returns to his seat, and a Betazoid woman on her way past pauses to contemplate him and says, "You human men are certain hairy. Why is that?"
        Without missing a beat, Riker says, "Traction."
        That’s what Peter David’s writing is like. Well apparently, after a few years, Peter David got tired of playing in the sandboxes of existing Star Trek series and decided to start one of his own. This is a series found in the novels only. It’s called Star Trek: New Frontier. Its events revolve around the Starship Excalibur and a number of characters Peter David created himself, but also a number found elsewhere in Star Trek though mainly as secondary characters who have only appeared once or twice, whom, evidently, Peter David found interesting enough to bring in and make main characters. This includes Commander Elizabeth Shelby and Dr. Selar.
        The Excalibur is assigned to patrol sector 221-G, the territory of the late Thallonian Empire, the collapse of which has left a power vacuum. Their mission is basically just to prevent any given conflicts from becoming violent and possibly escalating into all-out war. Apparently, Starfleet thought one ship would be enough for that.
        The Captain is a fellow named McKenzie Calhoun, whose actual name I’m not sure how to pronounce, but this is its spelling: Mk’n’zy. He’s from a planet called Xenex whose population he previously organized in a successful revolution against another race that had occupied the planet. In negotiating the final truce after their withdrawal, they appealed to the Federation to arbitrate and that’s how McKenzie met Picard.
After the arbitration is complete, Picard asks McKenzie what's next for him, and when he doesn’t know, Picard recommends service in Starfleet.
        His first day at the Academy, an upper classman tries to have a little fun at his expense and makes the mistake of starting in on his father. He then regains consciousness three hours later in the medical bay with a broken jaw and McKenzie earns himself the nickname "One-Punch Calhoun" which follows him all the way to graduation.
        Calhoun turns out to be a bit of a cowboy. He’s very reminiscent of Jim Kirk. The author here seems to be very good at finding at least one opportunity in every book for him to lay someone out with one punch. In one book, it takes two, and then Calhoun complains about getting old. Yes, he is very reminiscent of Kirk, yet monogamous. In book after book, he only has eyes for Shelby. Only three times has the notion surfaced of him being intimate with anyone else. One of these times was before he met her, another was when he had been out of contact with her for months and she thought he was dead, and the third seems to have been in a book in the series I have yet to come across.
        Calhoun is the only Xenexian to have ever served in Starfleet, and apparently, since this makes him something of an outsider, he prefers to compose his entire crew of outsiders; that is of people who are a little out of the ordinary, and subsequently, don't normally fit in, anywhere, except together.
        One good example is his chief of security, a fellow named Zak Kebron, who is the only Brikar to have served in Starfleet. Kebron is a towering hulk of a figure who has a knack for being mistaken for a rock formation if he stands the right way. It’s funny, because over and over, Kebron is introduced into the story from someone else’s perspective.
        "Shelby came around the corner and bumped into a mountain range. She looked up... and up."
        Apparently, in Starfleet Academy, Kebron was roommates with Worf who introduced him to the hardboiled detective novel. Worf hated it just because, by his assessment, the detective’s approach as well as the approach of each person he dealt with wasn’t warrior-like enough.
        But apparently, Kebron loved it, and one reason was that, in his words, "...the detective always had all the subtlety of a hurricane in a feather factory."
        Another outsider in the crew is Soleta, who was apparently conceived in an act of nonconsensual sexual contact between a Vulcan mother and a Romulan father. She basically has to make her way through every book with this grim spectre hanging over everything she does, grappling with her own highly conflicted heritage the whole way.
        There's also Dr. Selar, whom we met in an episode of TNG. She is characterized by an aversion to intimacy which is high by even Vulcan standards, and apparently, this is because she was married once, and she and her husband, in the act of mating, also bonded telepathically, both being Vulcan, of course, and while they were like that, the husband had a heart attack. She realized it and started trying to disentangle herself so she could do something about it, but apparently, this takes a moment, and by the time she was done, he was gone. As a Vulcan, Selar tries to be detached, but as a doctor, she blames herself, since afterall, if she could have come out of the meld a little faster, she probably could have saved him.
        But the reason I’m bringing all this up is the approach Peter David takes to the difficulty of gender-neutral pronouns with one particular character; the Chief Engineer and later First Officer, a Hermat named Burgoyne 172.
        As I recall, it was a fourth season episode of TNG which introduced us to a race with no gender, in which every single person is neither male nor female. The Hermats, on the other hand, are both. Every single one of them has both male and female organs, internally as well as externally.
        It was funny, because for a while, it appeared that the doctor, Selar, was pregnant by Burgoyne, while Burgoyne was pregnant by the helmsman, a human named McHenry. That was how it seemed. It turned out not to be so, but that was how it appeared.
        The Hermats, being both male and female encounter pronoun difficulties whenever they make contact with another race, because usually, that race has two distinctly different genders, and sometimes more. So one of the most urgent orders of business when this happens is for a team of Hermat linguists to sit down with a team of linguists from the other race and hash out in all that race’s most common languages a group of non-gender-specific pronouns.
        In English, instead of "he" or "she," it’s "s/he." Instead of "him" or "her," it’s "hir." Instead of "himself" or "herself," it’s "hirself."
        Clever, I think, but awkward. Peter David, while a very skilled author, is not much of a linguist. How come we in the English-speaking world can’t just rid ourselves of this manner of difficulty in establishing gender-neutral pronouns? How hard can it be for someone with the right expertise?
        It’s fair, unless speaking of a particular person, to say "he or she," "him or her," etc. It is fair, but incredibly monotonous. That is one sort of pronoun trouble we run into here.
        This is not going to seem immediately related to this, but bear with me. I find the company of transgendered people uncomfortable. It’s not fair, and I recognize that, and I offer my apologies for whatever they are worth, but I think, in my case anyway, most of the discomfort stems from pronoun difficulty. Clarity, utility and accuracy are very important to me. I don’t like language that is vague or ambiguous, because although it can be quite emotional, it doesn’t actually provide anything for reason to work with and scrutinize. A preference for it when clear language is available is dishonest.
        A common objection I have to political discourse is that, all too often, the person in question talks up a storm without actually saying anything. I don’t like discourse that describes two distinctly different groups of people (homosexuals and child molesters, Muslims and terrorists) or two distinctly different acts (defending the religious liberties of Muslims and paving the way for Sharia Law) as if they are the same. Clear, useful, meaningful, accurate language strikes me as honest and so I have an aversion to situations in which such is not an option. That’s the other sort of trouble we run into here.
        But it doesn’t make sense to me for something like this to remain such a consistent problem, given the fact that any given language is always undergoing change. Why can’t we just develop gender-neutral pronouns? Why can’t we come up with one word that means either "he" or "she," either "him" or "her," etc? Why can’t we just bring a team of linguists together to figure this out? First and second person pronouns as well as plural are not gender specific; at least not in English. Why do third person, singular pronouns have to be?

The Psychology of Belief and Bias

Video:

          Two of the most well known concepts in Psychology are Classical Conditioning and Operant Conditioning. The first of these is attributed to a fellow named Ivan Pavlov, who was, interestingly enough, not a psychologist, but a physiologist, but I digress.
          Pavlov is the fellow you have probably heard of who ran experiments on dogs. His famous experiment entailed fitting dogs in captivity with an oral tube to measure their rate of salivation and then subjecting them to two sensory stimuli: first, the sound of a bell, and second, the sight and scent of meat powder.
          Of course, the salivation rate of these dogs increased when the meat powder was presented. This is what is known as an unconditioned response; that is, an innate response. This is a way the dogs responded without having been trained to respond this way.
          But, over and over again, as this exercise was repeated, the presentation of meat powder followed the ringing of the bell, a sound the dogs were not exposed to at any other time during the experiment. This was the sequence over and over again, until there came a point at which Pavlov only rang the bell and the salivation rate of these dogs increased without the meat being presented.
          The salivation rate increasing in response to the presentation of meat powder is an unconditioned response. The same thing happening in response to the ringing of the bell is a conditioned response; conditioned as in learned.
          If one can find a friend who is game, one can duplicate this experiment. One can have the friend sit in a room with no especially attention-grabbing stimuli, ring a bell and then shine a flashlight in the friend’s eyes.
What is the unconditioned response to the bright light in the eyes? Shrinking pupils, of course. So if one does this a few dozen times, in this order, one will reach a point at which one can ring the bell without shining the flashlight in the friend’s eyes and those pupils are going to shrink anyway.
If one instinctively responds a certain way to stimulus B, and stimulus B has a tendency to follow stimulus A, one can expect to learn to respond much the same way to stimulus A. There are many ways this particular concept manifests.
          A cat who consistently hears a can being opened in the kitchen right before being given food soon begins to come trotting into the kitchen at the sound of the can opening.
          A young man who responds to pornography by becoming aroused and resorts to looking at pornography whenever he is bored soon finds himself becoming aroused in response to the boredom as well. I can personally testify to this one.
          A child who responds to being spanked with fear, sobbing and the need to escape, when the spanking is usually preceded by shouting, shortly finds himself responding this way to the shouting as well whether it is followed by spanking or not. I am sorry to say I can also testify to this one.
          Someone who grows up in a situation which leaves him consistently at the mercy of authority figures whom instinct compels him to trust but who are abusive learns to associate trust with abuse and regret. Years later, after growing up and having outgrown that instinctive trust, the conditioned association between trust and regret remains and this fellow has difficulty cajoling himself into any situation which depends on trust, including social situations, dating, and intimacy.
          A woman who happens to be white is called to undergo vetting for jury duty, but since the defendant in the case in question happens to be male and black and the woman was raped years earlier by someone who likewise held both characteristics, she is disqualified from sitting on the jury.
          But in order for Classical Conditioning to produce a conditioned response, it must have an unconditioned response to begin with; a response that is already part of the behavior of the animal in question. Operant Conditioning is different, and for this, it causes me more concern. This manner of conditioning is actually able to introduce new behavior. This school of thought was pioneered by B. F. Skinner who was able to use it to train pigeons to play ping pong; a behavior far from typical of pigeons.
          Operant Conditioning relies on three main concepts: positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, and punishment. Of these, the first is best understood by the general public. When a certain act coincides with a favorable stimulus, that act tends to be repeated. A dog who rolls over on command, and afterward is rewarded with a dog biscuit, is more likely to remain willing to roll over on command. A mouse fitted with an electrical lead which provides a charge to the pleasure center of the mouse’s brain whenever a certain button in his cage is pressed subsequently presses that button until exhausted by the exertion. One who has ways to make a workout routine fun tends to have a lot less difficulty finding the necessary motivation to keep that routine going. One who enjoys videos made by a certain YouTuber tends to seek out additional opportunities to do so. An act that has a tendency to be followed by positive stimuli tends to be repeated. That one’s pretty straightforward.
          Now here, personally, I have to hand it to people like J. K. Rowling, Gary Paulsen, Beverly Cleary, Sidney Sheldon, and of course Peter David. These people contribute to literacy by writing books that are fun to read. When people enjoy reading, they do more of it, and subsequently, their skill for it is honed, their literacy is reinforced, which opens the door for them to branch out into reading other subjects and being exposed to new ideas. But reading about a certain subject is different from watching videos about it, because reading depends on mental exertion. Reading depends on thought. People who do more reading also do more thinking, and so get better at both. But I digress.
          Punishment is also usually well understood.
          A cat which accidentally sits on a hot stove will never repeat the mistake, but neither will it ever again sit on a cold stove. A shepherd who has noticed a wolf stalking his flock kills one of his sheep, seasons its carcass with a drug and leaves the carcass for the wolf to find. The wolf finds it, consumes it, and soon finds itself in a state of severe nausea. It subsides, but the wolf never hunts the flock again.
          An action which leads to an unpleasant outcome or no discernable outcome tends not to be repeated.
          Negative reinforcement, on the other hand, is usually not so well understood. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the same as punishment. It is what takes place when a behavior which ends or avoids an unfavorable situation has a tendency to be repeated. A woman begins nagging her husband to take out the trash whenever it accumulates past a certain point, but stops nagging the moment he does, and he begins taking it out with less and less delay, until one day, he takes it out just before she begins. A father wants his son to clean the plate and puts pressure on him whenever he begins to complain about being full, but stops as soon as the plate is clean, and the son learns to associate finishing the food with ending or escaping pressure, and later in life, develops a tendency to eat in response to stress.
          A smoker tries to quit, but goes into withdrawal. In the midst of it, he or she knows that lighting up will end the symptoms and is tempted a great deal with this. If this smoker does it once, the experience of lighting up coinciding with the end of the withdrawal symptoms serves as a negative reinforcement and this makes quitting more difficult.
          A father with a tendency to abuse his son, when that son finally moves away, puts pressure on any of the rest of the family who remain in contact with him to take his side about spending time with the old man, but stops as soon as they do. The rest of the extended family learns that taking the father’s side is a way to escape or avoid such pressure, and so begin to take his side habitually. Sadly, I can also testify to this one.
          People participating in a campaign of persecution of another group find themselves hating themselves for doing it, and especially detest this state of self-loathing, but soon discover that they can escape this state by devaluing the lives and identities of the other group and hating them instead. This they find far preferable. This exemplifies negative reinforcement.
          Unfortunately, sometimes, one can be misled by one’s own operant conditioning into misapplying it with others:
          A father wants his teenage son to do something, so he nags, and the son does it. This shows him that nagging is a good way to get his son to do what he wants him to do, and so the behavior of resorting to nagging whenever he wants the son to do something is positively reinforced.
          The next time he wants the son to do something, he nags him again, and again he does it. Thus, the behavior is positively reinforced further.
          But one of these times, as soon as he finishes doing one thing the father has nagged him into, the father makes the mistake of immediately starting to nag him about something else. So the son carries out the new task, and the father immediately nags him about something else. Each time the son completes one task, the father starts nagging him about another.
          Now the reason this has worked to get the son to do things so far is that, as soon as he has done them, the nagging has stopped. The lesson to the son here is that "Doing what my authority figure wants ends or prevents the nagging." This approach only works so long as it has this result; so long as it ends or prevents the nagging. But the father is not seeing this. Completely unaware, he is teaching his son that nothing stops the nagging, and in the process, he is removing his son’s motivation. If nothing stops the nagging--if he is nagged just as much whether he carries out the task in question or not--then there is no point in trying. The act of carrying out the task in question does not end the unpleasant stimulus.
          So the next time the father wants the son to do something, he nags him and the son responds a little more slowly than usual. The father responds by putting on a little more pressure than usual and the son picks up the pace again, and as soon as the first task is done, the father drops back to a normal pressure, unaware that this is a crucial step.
          The day comes when the father starts nagging and the son does not respond, but the father puts on a little more pressure and the son responds, but then the father has more things he wants the son to do and so keeps on the added pressure. The first few times, this works, so this behavior is reinforced for the father.
But one day, the son also learns that, just as nothing stops the nagging, nothing stops the added pressure, and so he loses his motivation here as well.
          Little by little, this cycle repeats with higher and higher levels of psychological pressure until the son stops responding altogether and develops a reputation for being lazy and unmotivated. Here we have what is known as learned helplessness. Next thing you know, the father is on the news explaining why he has to discipline his son with a cattle prod because, allegedly, "He doesn’t respond to anything less."
          Learned helplessness also manifests in the elephant who is chained to a stake in the ground while very young and very small. He tries to pull it out and free himself, but he isn’t strong enough. Eventually, he stops trying, since acts that lead to a negative outcome or no outcome tend not to be repeated. As the months go by, if the elephant is properly cared for, he grows, and one day, he is strong enough to pull the stake out and free himself, but he still doesn’t because he has learned not to try. He has been trained to be helpless.
Sometimes, Operant Conditioning scares me.
          In a nation pervaded by an attitude of white supremacism, any people who happen to be white but don’t share the attitude run the risk of having this violence brought to bear against them whenever they make this known, and so are pressured to conceal it. That’s punishment. If one of these sorts begins to have thoughts that go against this sentiment, this individual runs the risk of giving those thoughts away with something he or she says or does, and so is pressured to suppress them, and if possible, to replace them. If such a person finds himself or herself the object of suspicion for dropping such hints (an unpleasant state), but then manages to conceal the hints in question and escape the unpleasant state, such is negatively reinforced.
          I don’t know about any of the times more recent than this, but in the 1950’s, in China, one thing the government did to control the population was to require the entire literate population to keep diaries to submit to party members for regular examination. Any time the party member in question found in the diary any thought that conflicted with the party's philosophy, the keeper of that diary faced severe punishment. The image of this punishment then dominated this keeper’s thoughts any time it occurred to him or her to write anything that the party would not approve of, and to escape this image, that individual would learn to exclude such sentiments from his or her writing. In time, with these individuals practicing more and more the act of guiding their written reasoning away from such thoughts, they also became ever more adept at guiding their actual reasoning away from them.
          In the Korean War, US Soldiers captured by the North Koreans and the Chinese were, of course, confined, but permitted to correspond with their families through the Red Cross. Sometimes, though, the Chinese army was not very expedient about getting that correspondence to the Red Cross. Of course, they insisted on reading it first.
          US Soldiers in Chinese captivity soon learned that their letters tended to get through more quickly when they contained sentiments about how the US or democracy really isn’t all that great or how the Chinese aren’t so bad, or things along those lines. That is, such sentiments were rewarded, and positively reinforced, motivating the soldiers who came up with them to come up with more such sentiments, and of course, the more they did it and were rewarded for it—the more it was reinforced—the better they got at it.
          Often, these soldiers were confined in cells by themselves with no human contact except the people who brought them food and the occasional Chinese psychologist who would come around to ask about such sentiments in their correspondence and then ask the soldiers to expound and elaborate. In this, the soldiers learned that coming up with advantages to the Chinese approach and disadvantages to the US approach meant an escape from solitude, and so it was reinforced, providing additional motivation to these soldiers to practice finding such caveats.
          As these behaviors were reinforced more and more, they came to characterize the soldiers in whom this happened. The more the soldiers were rewarded for finding advantages with the Chinese system and disadvantages with the US system, the better they got at it, until eventually, it became automatic and their loyalty to the US dissolved. Here we have what western historians of this period typically refer to as "brainwashing" but which Chinese historians and psychologists more often euphemistically dub "re-education."
          My real concern here, though, is how this ties in with deconversion. This is a problem whenever a nation has an established religion. It cannot do so without subjecting those who don’t practice it to the status of second-class citizens, and as a result of this, those who do practice it are confronted with the prospect of becoming second-class citizens in the event that too many doubts arise. Thus, they learn that examining these doubts could result in punishment and misery, and this image is dispelled from their minds every time these doubts are. Thus, the act of suppressing the doubts in question means escaping the thought of second-class citizen treatment, and so is negatively reinforced.
          "These points can't possibly be cogent, because if they are, I become a second-class citizen."
But the forces of Operant Conditioning are also found in many countries that lack an established religion but which still have large or forceful percentages of their population who practice one in particular. The practitioners of this faith, every time they consider leaving, are confronted by the notion of being alienated and ostracized by friends and family. This notion is escaped every time doubts about the faith are buried, and so the act of burying these doubts is negatively reinforced and becomes habitual.
          "These points can't possibly be cogent, because if they are, I will be ostracized and alienated by all my friends and family."
          "These points can't possibly be cogent, because if they are, it will mean that I have wasted years of my life."
          There are some, though, with even more on the line. There are those in their fifties and sixties and older who have made a career out of their faith and no longer know how to do anything else. It is a recurrent conclusion in the books of Michael Shermer that it is extraordinarily difficult to get someone to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it, and I’m using male pronouns here because, unless I miss my guess, it happens to men much more often.
          Even after one has examined one’s faith, and indeed, the idea of faith in general, and found they don’t hold up under scrutiny, one is strongly compelled to maintain the guise in order to earn a living. There are a number of clergy, theologians and apologists who don’t believe but who don’t dare let on. To have a living, they have to live a lie; a terrible position for anyone to be in.
          "Those points can't possibly be cogent, because if they are, I have to admit that my financial empire is built on a lie."
          "Those points can't possibly be cogent, because if they are, I have to choose between living a lie and living on the street."
          What can be done? This is not a rhetorical question. I really would like to know. As the nonreligious following in the west grows and organizes, we should be able to come up with solutions to this problem. We should have advice we can offer people in this situation; maybe even organizations which can help. One in such a situation is currently confronted with the notion of losing both affluence and solvency. That’s not right. Surely there are things we can do for them to spare them the latter alternative. Honesty should not equate with poverty.
          This ties in with a more politically focused concern of mine. It’s something I explain in my video about educational expenses. Since the 1970's, at least in the United States, as time has gone by, educational costs have slowly-but-consistently inched their way skyward. Financial aid in the form of grants and scholarships has also become gradually less and less available and the lost ground has been made up by loans instead. Both trends combine to produce an incrementally larger percentage of professionals in debt and the amount of that debt also continues to climb. There are bound to be many professionals in any given field motivated by greed who are going to stick to the high-paying corporate positions no matter what, but there are also bound to be plenty of others motivated instead just by the desire to make a difference; people who would be quite content with lower paying positions with small organizations and charities if not for all that debt.
The desire to get one’s debts paid off or to avoid getting into debt in the first place is the desire for freedom. In such a situation, the more high-paying the job, the more it helps one to make progress on paying off one’s debt, which places one in a position to equate wealth with freedom and thus, the most greedy are the first to achieve independence. Thus, greedy behavior is rewarded and reinforced, and generous, altruistic behavior is punished.
          It is one serious reinforcement when greedy behavior is reinforced with money, but it is quite another when it is also reinforced with freedom, resulting in a conditioned association between the two. The greater the debt at graduation, the stronger the motivation afterward to take steps to make oneself more appealing to the more high paying prospective employers.
          There is a direct positive correlation between just how high paying any given prospective employer in this country is and how right-leaning their dominant political attitudes tend to be. Thus, the more any given professional leans to the right, the more this professional tends to be hired by such firms. The more right leaning the professional, the less time it takes him or her to get all that debt paid off. So one is strongly motivated to bias one’s views to the right in the hope of gaining one’s freedom.
          If it is difficult to get someone to understand something when his or salary depends on him or her not understanding it, it does not bode well to have more and more people in this situation where their salaries depend on not seeing the absurdity of things like supply-side economics. How charitable and rational can we expect such people to be when being charitable and rational impedes their debt payment? That is, effectively, a punishment. When escaping from the notion of taking longer to pay off one's debt is the consequence for not being charitable or rational in one particular case, this is negatively reinforced.
          "Those points can't be cogent, because if they are, I have to work years longer to get out of debt."

Prepositions Made Simple

Video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKJXMamsqPM

Recently, I had occasion to check out from the library the first season of the TV show The Big Bang Theory. I found it pretty entertaining, though more so toward the beginning of the season than toward the end.
             These guys are supposed to be smart, yet one of them, in one episode, develops the tendency to put his fingers to his temples and give people a very intense look every time they do something he doesn't like, as if to harm them with just the force of his mind. Now, I'm sorry, but if you are sincerely under the impression that this does anything, you don't get to call yourself the smartest guy in the room.
             But anyhow, there came an episode with our heroes dealing with this upstart, North Korean child prodigy, whose genius was so great that our heroes felt threatened by it. One of them, early in the episode, said to him, "May I say, your English is very good."
             He replied, "So is yours, aside from your occasional tendency to end a sentence with a preposition."
             Now as far as I know, there's nothing wrong with using a chair as if it were a chair, a toothbrush as if it were a toothbrush, or a set of nail clippers as if they were, in fact, a set of nail clippers. So perhaps this adolescent twit would care to explain what's wrong with using a Germanic language as if it were, in fact, a Germanic language.
             Ah, but wait a minute. What does he mean by "ending a sentence with a preposition?" What do I mean by "Germanic language?"
             You see, all over the English-speaking world, one finds grammatical experts who will swear to you left and right, whatever else happens, a preposition is something a sentence must never end with. You will also find experts who will tell you it's no big deal. The key difference is whether the expert in question is more a fan of German or of Latin.
             Ah. But why those two languages in particular? You see, Latin was the language of ancient Rome, and as such is called a Romance language. Rome-->Romance. Spanish, French, Italian, and Portugese are all descended from Latin, and as such, are each also classified as Romance languages.
             Once in a while, someone whose first language is English begins to study one of these other languages and finds a lot of common Latin roots, and so mistakenly comes under the impression that English is also descended from Latin. But in fact, English is a Germanic language because it is descended from ancient German, along with modern German, Dutch, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish and Icelandic.
             Now what does this have to do with prepositions?  The World English Dictionary defines the word "preposition" as "a word or group of words used before a noun or pronoun to relate it grammatically or semantically to some other constituent of a sentence." Personally, I don't find that particular definition especially helpful, so let me see if I can improvise a better one. A preposition is a word in the sentence which describes the relationship (usually in space or time) between two or more of the nouns or pronouns within the sentence.
             "The computer sat on the desk." "On" is the preposition here.
             "The pretentious know-it-all monologued in the video." "In" is the preposition here.
             "The student had to study while his friends got to play ball in the park." "While" and "in" are the prepositions here.
             "He went to use the bathroom during the commercial." "During" is the preposition here.
             "She took a nap after watching her favorite movie." "After" is the preposition here.
             I find, a good way to develop one's skill for identifying prepositions is by practicing using different words in conjunction with the words "the fence."
             "The squirrel sat on the fence."
             "The cat walked along the fence."
             "The baseball flew over the fence."
             "The gopher tunneled under the fence."
             "The basketball bounced off the fence."
             "The riding lawn mower that Tim Allen had been tinkering with crashed through the fence."
             That is how a preposition is identified. Now, "Never end a sentence with a preposition" is an absolute iron-clad rule of Romance grammar, not Germanic. It is the norm, in English, to give our prepositions the Germanic treatment instead, and there's nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with using a Germanic language as if it were, indeed, a Germanic language.
             Now remember, I referred earlier to those common Latin roots that one finds between English and insert Romance language here. Those are there because, although technically and officially a Germanic language, English has, over the centuries, come under a lot of influence from the Romance languages. One consequence of this is that we can give our prepositions the Romance treatment and they still make sense.
"The Internet is an information resource we can turn to," becomes "The Internet is an information resource to which we can turn." "Such-and-so is a leader we can rely on," becomes "Such-and-so is a leader on whom we can rely." "That is something I have a problem with," becomes "That is something with which I have a problem."
             Now personally, I recommend practicing and developing a skill for phrasing sentences both ways. I recommend practicing taking sentences phrased one way and rephrasing them the other. This, in my experience, is a tremendous help in analyzing and understanding the arguments one is presented with. Or shall I say, "...the arguments with which one is presented." It's also a tremendous help if one's first language is Germanic and one is now trying to learn a Romance language.
             I recommend developing a skill for both because one will find situations in which one is preferrable, and situations in which the other is. I recommend not being determined to stick to one or the other. Such is, after all, a good way up with which to get mixed.
             So the next time some pretentions know-it-all presumes to take you to task for ending a sentence with a preposition, just say, "Oh. So you are saying that such is the sort of English up with which you will not put?"